Terms of Access



This is a private website and access is only by way of private contract, the terms of which are set out as follows.


By clicking the “I Agree” button you agree:


i) that you are one of the people of England or a person of a foreign jurisdiction; and

ii) that you are over the age of 18 years; and

iii) that you are of sound mind; and

iv) that you are in full possession of, master of, and not a victim of, your own thoughts and feelings; and

v) that you are the owner of the device you are viewing www.englandlives.com (the ‘Website’) on (the ‘Device’) and are in full control of the same; and

vi) that you guarantee and undertake to ensure that the content of this website is not viewed by any person on the Device who has not agreed to these Terms of Access; and

vii) that you understand complex and multi-layered humour, satire, hyperbole and other adult forms of written content and the nuances thereof; and

viii) that no content on this Website is intended to encourage or condone violence or hatred towards any category or class of people or persons; and

ix) to hold harmless all hosts, administrators, editors, authors, contributors and any other associated persons of the Website for any upset, offence, or distress caused by any and all content hosted or syndicated on the Website; and

x) to waive any and all rights available to you under any and all Acts of Parliament of the UNITED KINGDOM OF GREAT BRITAIN AND NORTHERN IRELAND [a corporation operating in bankruptcy under limited liability insurance for profit and gain] relating to any offence(s) caused by any writing(s) or other form of visual representation(s) which may be made within the contents of the Website.




The Absolute State of Journalism – England Lives

The Absolute State of Journalism

England Lives
April 10th, 2018

I want to show you something folks. I want to show you the sort of people who dedicate their lives to anti-racism. It’s ludicrous. Picture the sort of person who writes these articles…

Hope Not Hate:

Sunday evening’s blog about the Polish chef denied entry back into the UK has caused outrage in the National Front (NF).

It would appear our blog was re-posted on Facebook by National Action hanger-on Alexander Burton, who took issue with the condition of the clothing worn by the NF’s Richard Edmonds on the gang’s outing to London.

This retard can’t even get her name right. As the article goes on to explain, this is about a woman named AlexandRA. Not Alexander.

Those loses. They were heavy.

Ms Burton asked the not entirely unreasonable question whether it was right the National Front continue to drain Edmonds for his cash when he has to tape together his winter coat.

And believe me, the NF really are tapping up taped-up Edmonds. It’s not for me to reveal how much the pensioner has coughed up since he returned from a lucrative job in Russia years and years ago, but given that he has not worked in something like 20 years I’m assuming they are eating into his savings, his pension and possibly some bequest he was left.

“I’m assuming stuff, but it’s not for me to say”… What?!

Edmonds, also a former schoolteacher, would hold court for people in the bookshop’s darkly lit kitchen for anyone who wanted to listen. He would cook for anyone there who was hungry. Literally, he would give them his last slice of bread.

Sounds like a lovely guy. But wait, aren’t nazis supposed to be evil?

With Wagner playing softly in the background and Edmonds cooking vegetarian mince on a portable stove, one felt they could never feel any closer to the actual final days in the infamous bunker in Berlin, ever.

“One felt they could never feel any closer”… You feel that you can’t feel? That’s dumb.

But then their logo is extremely dumb.

You have no idea what the organisation is called from this logo. Of the three words in its title, one is covered up and one is not present. So you have only to assume they are just called ‘HOPE’ :/

Meanwhile on the other side of the pond, some American anti-racist journo is competing for the “worst writer” award.


As a light rain fell from an overcast sky, aging neo-Nazi and racist David Duke stood in an electric blue blazer checking his phone while holding a sign saying “Support our Monument” in central Alabama.

Duke trekked to the town of Wetumpka, population 6,500, on April 7 to celebrate the one-time Ku Klux Klan leader’s 50 years in the white supremacist movement with the League of the South.

Find me a person who isn’t ageing? Who has the ability to go against the tide of time and not be getting older?

Duke, for his part, waved at passing cars at the intersection of U.S. 231 and Alabama Highway 14, smiled to the few who gave the gathering thumbs up and appeared to try to stay engaged.

The public part of the day, didn’t last long — about 50 minutes or roughly one minute for each year of Duke’s racist career. Rain sprinkled off and on before the skies opened up on the Confederate flag-waving League of the South members — decked out in black shirts and khaki pants — and they decided to pack it in.

“It was good to be with compatriot Dr. David Duke this weekend as we honored him for 50 years of service to his people and civilization,” Hill captioned a photo of him with his arm around Duke.

But those honoring Duke turned out to be all wet.

Have you ever seen such clunky writing? I’ve never known someone to be able to create an awkward silence using text over the internet. But goddammit, he did it.

It was raining. We get it. Notice this guy is trying to set the scene and give you some emotional context here… but all he has in his arsenal is ‘David Duke is racist and not water repellent or able to time travel’.

At 67 years old Duke, an Oklahoma native, started appearing publicly as a racist on the campus of Louisiana State University (LSU) in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where he formed a white student group called the White Youth Alliance in 1970.

What? That doesn’t make any sense! This guy can’t decide what tense he’s in, and he’s a ‘professional’ anti-racist reporter! Wowee.

At one point in the 1980s, Duke had become so irrelevant that, according to journalist and Duke biographer Tyler Bridges, he was regularly seen on weekdays playing the public golf courses at City Park in New Orleans.

“At one point his life was so dull that he took up golf.” Holy shit. This is great journalism guys!

Duke resurfaced in 1989, running for a legislative seat in a heavily white, older district in Metairie, a suburb of New Orleans. By this point, Duke switched to the Republican Party (he had previously run as a Democrat when Louisiana was a heavily Democratic state), and changed his looks away from the tall, skinny guy with a non-descript face and straight brown hair swept to the side.

The re-emergence brought a new look — pressed shirts, red ties and blue suits along with a new nose, prominent chin and carefully coiffed blonde hair.

What can I even say about this other than “this is weird”?

Duke also repackaged his ideas. Instead of talk about Jews and niggers, Duke took to using more standard Republican language, pushing the idea that welfare recipients should be drug tested to receive any benefits and talk about how he was proud of his heritage.


Expect this any day now for your hate crime, SPLC ‘journalist’.

As Duke latched on to Trump, he became something of a grandfather figure to the racist alt-right, some of whom adopted Duke’s well-honed tactics.

It is rare these days to see a racist in a sheet with a cross inside a red circle parading around, much as Duke did in his Klan days.

Instead, the modern neo-Nazi, alt-right racist is likely to be in a clean, collared shirt, with a short haircut looking like a salesman or a local television news reporter.

So… wait… is there a cross inside the sheet, while the red circle parades around? Or is the racist in the red circle but he’s wearing a sheet? Or are you in the sheet, parading round, and you are seeing the racist? I don’t know because you don’t seem to know how to use commas.

Commas are important if you are a writer.

Holy shit I hope no one paid money for you to produce this tripe. This whole sentence is just a mess. Like a goofy kid writing a fanfic.

So many ups and downs and changes of persona. Are we talking about David Duke or Ernst Stavro Blofeld here?

Also, there is no clear narrative. Dr Duke is simultaneously portrayed as ‘a loser trying to stay relevant’ and ‘the grandfather of the alt-right who all Trump voters agree with’. Well which is it? Nothing is clear! Not even the year we are talking about or who is wearing a sheet inside a cross.

The only thing we know is that it was raining.

This article waffles on for a while before ending strongly:

Duke, once the premier white supremacist in America, drew large crowds and cheers during his heyday. It isn’t known if he spoke to the gathering in Wetumpka.

But now, Duke was left fleeing the rain in rural Alabama.

It seems the ideal fit as he tries to stay relevant in the racist movement.

This whole article can be summed up as “David Duke went somewhere and may or may not have spoken. Also it rained.”

This is objectively terrible writing.

At England Lives we are committed to bring you top quality reporting, opinions, and memes. Not mixed-tense weather reports.